


And She Loves Me

by nosleepshefani



Category: Shefani, The Voice RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-03 22:15:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6628759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosleepshefani/pseuds/nosleepshefani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blake takes some time to reflect on his relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And She Loves Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is not really a stereotypical fanfic...there isn't really a plot. But, I became a little bit emotionally overwhelmed by all of the interviews that Blake did. His love is just so obvious, and my heart kind of burst listening, so I started "stream of consciousness" writing, and it turned into this! It's kind of like a journal, maybe? I don't know! I don't totally love it, but I didn't want to write something and not share it (there has been a drought of fics, trust me I know, and I saw people asking on Twitter and even though this is unconventional, maybe someone will appreciate it?). Anyways, this is kind of me in awe of their relationship through Blake's eyes (because I think he's in awe too) because they are literally too precious and I actually can't handle it. They are just PRECIOUS. That's all :,)

I can’t even believe where we are right now.  I mean, can anyone?  Ten years ago, Gwen Stefani was a name that I heard in the context of huge hits, and I thought of a superstar, an extremely cool person, an awesome artist in a different genre...someone who I had absolutely nothing in common with.  I mean, I guess I even made my own assumptions about her...that she was stuck up, demanding--I don’t know, I thought she was, at least, aware of how cool she was.  But then...god damn, from the moment I met that girl, I felt awful for thinking those things.  She was just one of the most incredible people.  Kind, caring, loving, enthusiastic, humble, and, surprisingly unaware of her status.  For a while, I thought she was just downplaying herself.  It took a while, but I eventually realized that this wasn’t the case at all...she honestly just wasn’t even aware of the fact that people like me had looked at her in awe and admiration (and desire, let’s be honest here) for so many years.  And that just broke my heart.  It was so clear that she was special, from the moment she walked into a room.  She was breathtakingly gorgeous, in a way that can’t be fully appreciated on screen, and she always had the respect of everyone in the room.  She was sexy but surprisingly graceful, and, I was surprised to find out that she was one of the most caring, considerate people in the world.

 

We obviously got to know each other better, and damn, we had so much fucking fun on season 7 of The Voice.  Even then, by the end of the season, we were the best of friends.  Of course, the thought may have crossed my mind once or twice that she was literally perfect, but she had her husband and I had my wife, and life didn’t have time to deal with my petty, unrealistic thoughts.  Little did I know just how realistic they would become.  It was just crazy.  After the cheating, the whirlwind of emotion, I was suddenly sharing these emotions with someone I didn’t quite know well enough yet to share them with.  But, wow--that quickly changed, and then it morphed completely into her being the most important person in my world. I don’t even understand, today how things could’ve been so awful, and then led to something like this.  Something of this magnitude, of this rarity.

 

Every single day, I wake up, and I see the most incredible human being lying next to me in bed, still asleep, and I stop to think, ‘who the fuck are you to be the lucky bastard who wakes up to a woman of this caliber?’  Even in these moments, her hair is a bit mussed, and she’s not wearing makeup, and she’s not nearly as graceful as she is when she’s awake.  Yet, when I look at her, I can’t help but smile.  Yes, she snores and she drools, but she’s so incredibly _human_.  This goddess of a lady is just normal for a while.  Just vulnerable, and asleep, and normal.  And, God, how endearing is it to see a side of someone that literally no one else gets to see?  How precious?  How valuable?  Out of all of the humans in the world, she chose me to get to wake up to her in the morning.  To drink her coffee with and to drive to the grocery store with and to fall asleep with.  To know that you’re something to someone--that you’re _everything_ to someone...I don’t know that there’s a more emotional thing than that.  When someone else entrusts you with their children, their parents, siblings, their secrets, their darkest moments, and even their heart...it’s enough to overwhelm you.

 

What a fragile thing a human is.  How special is it that she has been entrusted to me.  

 

Do you know what it’s like to hold your entire world in your arms?  To pull someone into you and realize, ‘this is it, this is the thing that tethers me to this earth, this is my reason for breathing and laughing and loving everyday of my life’?  I didn’t know.  Not before Gwen, anyways.  I mean, she’s my everything.  Our bond...it’s unexplainable.  It goes so much deeper than emotional or intellectual...it’s spiritual.  You really can’t separate us, but not because we are infatuated.  I mean, we are.  But besides that, it physically hurts me to be away from her.  To be in the same world at the same time but to not be with her...it kills me. To know that she’s somewhere smiling and laughing and experiencing and I’m not there with her to see every smile, to know every moment--it’s difficult in a way I never would’ve believed before. I never want to miss a moment with her.  Not even only the ‘important’ ones, but just the simple things.  Those moments when she smiles all the way through to her eyes and her laugh makes my heart skip a beat and I look at her and I just think, ‘wow, this woman is mine’.  Going through life with someone else who you love is what makes it worth living, to me.

 

There is no one I wouldn’t be for her, nothing I wouldn’t do for her.  I would follow her anywhere, quite honestly.  She’s just the most incredible human.  She’s something else.   I mean, that pull...that _gravity_ between us--when she moves, I move.  When she smiles, I smile.  I would follow that woman to the ends of the earth if it meant I could be with her, I swear to God.  And, even when I’m not with her, it’s crazy to me how all of my thoughts lead back to her. II see her in everything; in the flowers, in my favorite songs, in my passenger seat.  Somehow, everything reminds me of her.

 

Gwen...she sees me.  I mean, she _sees_ me.  In a way no one else ever has, in a way no one else ever could.  She looks at me, and she knows who I am.  Things that I couldn’t explain through words, even if I tried--she gets it without me having to say a word.  All she has to do is smile at me, and I know she sees my soul.  She sees everything that I am the essence of myself.  I am not lost in the world when I am with her, because even though it can be a goddamn lonely place, she looks at me, and I know I’m not alone.  She looks at me like some secret that only she knows.  Somehow, her gaze turns this ordinary man into someone who feels rare, feels like he matters to someone.  That’s priceless.

 

I will never know how someone like me (the ordinary man) could end up with Gwen Stefani.  I don’t really know what she sees in me.  But knowing that someone, who could quite literally have anyone, chose you...there is nothing I can say to explain that.

 

To be with someone who was literally so broken and who allowed you the chance to help put them back together in their scariest, most vulnerable, most tragic moments is the greatest amount of trust you could ever receive.

 

My lips exist to kiss hers, and I was born to love her.  I know that now.  Everything I went through brought me straight to her.  How can this not be a gift from God?  And, hell if she’s not the most precious gift I’ve ever received.

 

She’s just so raw and rare and honest and gorgeous and glorious without even trying.  She’s the most beautiful when she thinks nobody is watching.  When she’s dancing around the kitchen in the morning in a baggy old concert tee shirt and tiny shorts, jamming out to some old music and just being so effortlessly beautiful, and I'm leaning up against the wall, her completely unaware of my presence, grinning my face off.  

 

She’s my own personal brand of drug.  Everything about her pulls me in...her scent, her taste, the way she walks and the way she says my name.  Her kisses are intoxicating, her love is addicting.  I cannot get enough.  She has no idea of the full effect she has on me...no clue.  My world just stops when I’m with her, and everyone else ceases to exist.  I get so caught up in her beauty, her effortlessness--so enraptured in her mere existence that nothing else really matters.  No one else does.  Then, there are the times when it’s just the two of us in the room, and she has this uncanny ability to make me feel like we are the only people in the entire universe.  She does it with the way she looks up at me, stretches her feet, and leans her forehead into mine and I know exactly what she’s thinking.  The sweet, sweet kisses she gives me, the way she holds my hand while I drive, the gentle touches of reassurance, the way her eyes linger with such love when I talk.  She does it while we make love, so intertwined, so interconnected, that we become one for a little while.  My own personal paradise.

 

It her most simplistic form, she is just a beautiful encacement of bones, and muscles, and blood, just like the rest of us.  She’s so incredibly human, but her soul...wow.  She’s beautiful on the outside, but my world stops when I get to see glimpses of her soul.  It just happens in little, seeminly ordinary moments.  She doesn’t even have to try.  Just the way she loves, the way she takes care of her kids, the little gestures she makes when she thinks you’re not looking.  The way she values her family more than anything, the way she cares about the people who invest their time in her.  Her faith, her committment to God.  And, my Lord, the way she looks when she sings.  Her soul emulates when she sings.

 

My heart wasn’t fully equipped to handle her or her love.  There is so much in her heart that she has to give.  She is literally overflowing with love, and she wants to share it with me.   _Me_.  Of all people.  I mean, she looks at me like I’m her whole world.  I know she’s mine.  The most incredible thing about this is how all of this is reciprocated.  It’s equal.  I wasn’t really used to that, to being loved so hard.  So _passionately_.  She’s teaching me how to accept it again.  And I love that about her.  We have exactly what the other needs.  The term soulmates always seemed corny, but, I don’t know.  From the first time we kissed, like, _really_ kissed, it just felt like there had always been a missing hole in my world that she was meant to fill.  We are better together.  She makes me a better man.  Without her, I am just me.  But with her, I am part of a ‘we’.  An ‘us’.  She and I fit together better than anyone I know.  We just clicked.  Fuck being from different places.  At the end of the day, why should that ever matter?  At our centers, we are just humans.  Humans who were looking for someone else to help us get through this crazy thing called life.

 

Our purpose in life was to find each other.  To help each other, to thrive together.  What an incredible thing it is to realize your purpose.  I was put on this earth to love her, and I intend to do it until the day I die.  In the middle of the darkest time of my life, she was my light.  In this insane adventure called life, she is my reason.  My road map, my compass, my destination.  How the hell did I get so lucky?

 

She can literally do no wrong.  She thinks she makes mistakes, she’s insecure, she thinks she has things she needs to ‘work’ on.  But, honestly?  Everything that she is is everything that I never knew I needed.  She’s a work of art carved by God; her body, mind, and soul.  Every ‘mistake’ only endears me more.  I love who she is, and that includes every little piece of her, even the parts she wishes weren’t there.  Doesn’t she understand?  Those pieces make her Gwen.  They make her entirely and utterly human.  What a devastatingly beautiful masterpiece she is.

 

People, they talk about a love that could move mountains.  I used to call bullshit on that, hell, I used to call bullshit on most things like that.  But is it the most ridiculous thing in the whole world that I think I know what they meant, now?  The way my heart feels so full..the warmth that fills my chest every time I simply look at her---my day is not complete without her in it.  She is the one I want to share things with; the little moments, the big ones, the laughs, the memories.  Life would be terrible with no one there to share it with.  But, I have her.  

 

We are just so bonded.  I mean, I didn’t know what it was like to know another human being so intimately.  And no, I don’t just mean the sex (although that too), but I just feel like I know everything about who Gwen is.  I know her heart.  And it’s tethered to mine.  There is nothing anyone could do to change that.  We just _get_ each other, appreciate each other, enjoy each other’s company.

 

My perspective has changed so much.  I mean, who cares what literally anyone else says when Gwen Stefani spends her days with you and loves you and compliments you and thinks you’re awesome?  The entire rest of the world could hate me, and I’d be okay with it.  She matters, we matter, and at the end of the day, knowing that whatever could come up is something we could deal with, together, makes it impossible to worry about anything ever again.  

 

She transcends what I knew about being a human.  She’s so much more than my wildest dreams.

 

We are just blood, and bones, and muscles, and she loves me.  We are just two people in a sea of billions of others, and she loves me.  I am just an imperfect man with an imperfect love, and she loves me.  

  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know in the comments if there is anything that happened recently that you are dying to have turned into a fic! I realize I've been distant...this is my busiest time of year by far, but as soon as I'm done with school, I will have a ton of time to write! And hopefully between now and then, while I procrastinate studying for AP exams, I will be able to get some writing in! Also, let me know if you like this reflective style of writing. I want to know what you guys like :).


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